Fitness Regime: Summer begins

The other weekend I was at a cousin's wedding in Dumfries, the weather was glorious, the family were in fine form and the bride look beautiful, but looking through various photies online, someone seems to have replaced all the photos of me with some kind of freakish photoshopped version where I'm all fat and double-chinned, kind of like my collar is the neck of a toothpaste tube, and my head is oozing out.

I used to be slender, you remember that, I blogged about it and everything.

So, its back onto the crosstrainer for me, as soon as I got back from Dumfries in fact.

So as is my wont, I've graphed my progress so far.
After one week, well, I'm doing better than my winter and spring fitness regimes. Usually I ease myself into the regime, just doing short distances for the first day or two, then taking another day or two off, to let my body adjust, but this time, I'm not allowing myself that luxury, and I'm going full-on, 10.5km every night.

Hopefully by the time I finish this tranche of cross-training in thirty days time, I'll have covered twice the distance of my previous attempts. I'll be so buff, I'll have single-handedly defused the UK's obesity timebomb.

Fitness Regime: Spring 2011- pipped at the post

Bah! I say, BAH!! Winter beat me.

Well, me in winter beat me in spring. My fitness regime kind of petered out towards the end of my almost traditional 39 day season. Mostly because I went away on holiday for three nights, but I ought to have been able to catch the up if I wasn't so damned lazy and ill-disciplined.

Anyhoo, now the 39 days are up, I can reflect on my progress a bit more objectively. Here, we can look at this graph of my the average distance I worked out on the cross trainer each day.

I started off in pretty much the same fashion as my winter feat, doing it for a few days then taking a few days off so the average fell, but then, with great will power, I maintained a steady 12.6km per day so my average rose, a lot more than back in winter, when I was mostly doing 10.5km. But I seem to have peaked at an average of 8km a day. Sure, when I worked out I did 12km, but then I was taking day's off which brought the average down. Compare that with Winter when my average just kept on rising until the end of the 39 days.

This next graph shows my speed for each session, bear in mind that 20km/h on the cross trainer doesn't quite match 20km/h jogging or running.

Success, broadly I was going faster in Spring than I was in Winter. The latter bumbling around at 20km/h, and in Spring, more like 21.5km/h.

So, what does all that look like?

Sorry ladies, I'm taken.

Fitness Regime: Spring 2011- kicking Winter's ass

Weel, my most recent fitness regime is going great. By some feat of technology I still have my spreadsheet from my last tranche of cross-trainer addiction, so its easy enough to add another few columns and track my progress against how I did a few months back.

We acquired a small cross trainer about a year ago, its a bit rattly compared to the ones you get in proper gyms, and the electronics are a bit basic, but its good enough for my purposes even if I do have to oil it up with WD40 every two days.

Back around Christmas I felt I was getting a bit fat, the reflection in the mirror had more jowls than I remember and the way my stomach spilled over my belt was a little sickening. So I got on the cross trainer.

My strategy would have two main tactics:-
Aim to exercise every single day
Every day do a little more than the day before, either faster or further

See, I reckon to really lose weight and get fit, its not enough to occasionally go to the gym, or while away an hour or so with a stroll. No, you've got to push yourself, not to the peak of human perfection, Lynford Christie, Zola Budd, Daly Thompson, Usain Bolt, better than everyone else in the world, just a little better than you were yesterday. That's all its takes.

Followers of my internet ramblings may remember the tumblr what I started back in January, Fat Ill and Ancient, that kind of petered out after around 40 days. I grew bored, or caught a cold or just didn't feel like exercising for a few days and by the time I'd skipped three days, the dream was over.

Now, some way into April, I noticed those jowls returning and my belly had no definition or recognisable muscles, so I hopped back on the cross trainer and started again.

That was about three weeks ago. Now look at this graph.

This graph shows that compared to day 20 of January's fitness regime, I've gone about 40km further. Admittedly crosstrainer kilometres don't map jogging kilometres very well, but I've done 50% more than I did fourth months ago.

Not only that but back in winter, it took me thirty-five days to build up the stamina to do the great 25km distance in one day, whilst this time round I've built up the stamina in half the time.

Not only is my distance better, but check out this graph.

This graph shows the average speed for each session. I don't know about you but I can clearly see that this time round, I'm going a lot faster than I was last time. I'm averaging 21.5km/h, compared to 20.5km/h last time.

I rule, I so kick the ass of my three months younger self. If I had some kind of time machine, and went back three months, and by some convoluted chain of events challenged myself to crosstraining race, I would so win. In your face 32 year old me, cos 32.5 is where its at. YEAH!

But I hear you ask, what does this mean in more visual terms?

It means, the first inklings of a six pack.

Ladies, steady yourselves.

2011 exercise regime

So yeah, at Christmas, amongst all the eating and presents and stuff, my brother said I was looking a bit jowly, and to be honest I had been getting concerned about my figure.

Some time in the mid-nineties I sold my soul to the devil in return for eternal youth, and whilst I kept my boyish good looks for the past twenty years, my teenage figure is getting a bit flabby. In fact some time between Christmas and New Year my alluring but unidentifyable ladyfriend called me a 'potbellied pig' and 'fatty fat fat'. So, I was going to have to get back in the tracksuit.

For the past thirty days, almost every night I've been on the crosstrainer, pumping away.

That Eddie Izzard chap did some thing for Sports Relief where he ran a marathon every day for the best part of two months. I reckon I can do that.

Its a bit nippy for running outside at the moment, so I'm building up my stamina on the cross trainer. In case you're wondering, its a Confidence USA ellipictical crosstrainer from Amazon here a bit of a bargain at £79.99. As you can see from the graph, my best distance so far is 19.5km, almost half a marathon in one session.

We can also see some other neat trends on the graph, whilst not exactly running every day, I run more often than not. I have two modes bog standard daily distance, which was like 8.4km for the first few weeks, then 10.5km, and now 12.6km I reckon, then there's my trying really hard distance which is also increasing.

The main problems I have at the moment is that the crosstrainer is wearing. It squeaks like a bugger after the first 10km unless you pull the hand handles inwards when running. And there's the tension belt thing that it uses to control the resistance, its wearing through, has snapped twice, been mended using an old guitar strap, which has worn through too.

Anyhoo, I'm back in the tracksuit, I'm buff, toned, and a mean machine.